Have fun with this one :)
Outside the bagel shop where I sit every day
I saw a black lab tied to the post of a parking meter
Tongue unfurled
Brown eyes open wide
Back legs folded under
He must've been young still
Maybe just a few months still
Because his big black paws were too big for his legs
And because he just couldn't sit still
With his leash knotted to that steel post
At the bottom of a meter now expired
Only moments after the navigator received a gift
Pink and yellow pieces of paper stashed behind a wiper
What wonderful fall colors
And afterwards the parking attendant reached down
Bending towards the black lab
His back arched further and further
And as he did the dog rolled
In time with his outstretched arm
On his back now
Exposing his stomach now
And his tongue hung to his cheek
As he received his gift now
Awesome! I love the imagery of the pieces of paper as "wonderful fall colors". The repetition of "big" and "still" seem to really illustrate the nature of a simple and hyperactive puppy.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling a little ambiguous about the ending, though...the first time I read it I thought maybe the dog bit the parking attendant, a "gift" to him for leaving the parking tickets, but that didn't seem to make a lot of sense with him rolling onto his back to be petted. When I read it again I felt like it was the parking attendant's gift to the puppy, giving him some lovin' since he was tied up and left alone. (Let me know if I'm wrong!)
Great job!! I'm glad to see you growing so much as a writer. :)
I think I'm one of those poets who truly believes the title of a poem should exist (I dislike it very much when poems are untitled)...but more than just exist, it should have a function. It should play an integral role in the existence of a poem...so, that being said I think you can figure out the answer.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your great comments Nancy. You and Andrew have spots existing in my apartment...would you please come and occupy them?
Why are titles so important?
ReplyDeleteI believe titles are important in poetry because everything a poet can place on the page means something...not just words used, but line breaks, shape, sound, space...the title is an opportunity to say something...use it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, a title is difficult though. I guess I am bad with titles so I avoid them. A poem already says so much. I assume the reader is already misunderstanding what you're trying to say, so I guess a title can either point them in YOUR right direction, or confuse them more. And I guess it depends how clear you want to be about what you're trying to say.
ReplyDeleteTitles are important..never mind, your right!! They can also make the poem more beautiful in structure . I just find them so difficult!!!
So definitive !!
I agree...titles can be difficult...but...I just like to have fun with them
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think the reader is misunderstanding what I'm saying...they are simply making my art theirs. The moment I post or read a poem it's not just mine anymore and I have to accept that people are going to interpret it however they see.
ReplyDelete