Roll Away (Poem)

It's not everyday you see the dark clouds roll away:
large, bulbous, wet and grey...
going on to ruin someone else's day.

The soft simmer of the Sun's shine against my skin
is warmly received and brings out a large grin,
because my patience with the clouds
was wearing thin.

Goodbye to the gloomy masses that tore me a sunder
with your violent light flashes and your thunder.
You won't even draw from me a small shudder.

And what am I to do now with the new me,
without the overhead cloudy sea?
Just let me stop a moment to think...

It's not everyday you see the dark clouds roll away:
large, bulbous, wet and grey...
I will be waiting with an umbrella next time
you try and stop over this way.

If Only I Were Sleeping (Poem)

If only I were sleeping, I would've missed it...
My back slightly sunken in, caressed by a mattress
my head motionless inside a folded pillow and
my mind padded by sweet dreams that only show
themselves to the outside world through twitching
eyelashes.

If only I were sleeping, I would've missed it...
an evening wrapped in the frightened inevitability
of facing truthes and losing face through honesty,
clogging my lungs and twisting the handle on a vice
around my ribs.

If only I were sleeping, I would know what to do...
I would lift you up with one arm, drape you
over my shoulder and run with you.  Passed
every three or four-eyed monster to come our way,
never breaking a sweat, never losing confidence,
and never wondering where my priorities went.

If only I were sleeping.

Our Fears (poem)

***I have to preface this a bit before you can read it.  First off, one of my favorite poets (Herbert) has a poem entitled "Our Fears," so I thought I would give it a shot.  I don't think I come close to him, but I'll get there one day.  Secondly this stemmed from experiences that I've recently been through.  I've had to really put my life up to a magnifying glass.  I haven't been myself in ages.  I have been a sad little person who has doubted my own abilities to accomplish my own goals.  I have suffered from the fear of settling and the fear of being untalented and worthless.  I know this is some heavy shit, but it's all true.  No more... No more am I going to doubt myself and my ability to be whomever and whatever I want to be.  I know what I want to get out of life and it's time I brought that confidence forward.

ANYWAY...poem time...and please, as always...let me know what you think...(if anything is unclear, if it can be made better)...I want to know.


Our fears leave us as trembling piles, suffocating,
with each attempted breadth grinding us down
more and more, until we feel twisted and wrung out.

And we fear this self-annihilation
leaving us empty of every joyous emotion.
We fear an attack both physical and emotional,
a war, whether it's exaggerated or legitimate:
personal or involving masses.

Our fears have us question fairness only because
we cower to the thought of loneliness.  Yet,
fear and loneliness walk together lovingly
destroying all the grinded down, twisted people
before it.

But we are not the damned, downtrodden and
helpless bastards unless we choose to take
a setback and turn it into defeat.  Some of us slide
so low that we become mud, depressing, grey-brown,
dingy, infested and infected; leaving us impure and clouded
to all reality.  Others rise so high that every beautiful star
in the sky turns into a shuriken ready to rip your fucking head
off.

Our fears keep us from the middle.  They keep us from stability.

Creative Writing Programs

I was going to wait to tell everybody this, but it seems to be getting out anyway...I have gotten accepted to my first school for Creative Writing: Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, New York. It's a top 50 school for creative writing MFA degrees.  I am one of the 12-20 poets who gained an invitation for acceptance.  It was also one of my top choices for a program.

Some of you know how much distress I was in because I had gotten a few rejections first...BUT, that is all over now.  I am quite excited about this.  I'm not positive that I will attend...I'm still waiting on a few more letters; however, there aren't many schools I would've picked over this.

So, thank you all for reading my writings...and I will hopefully be posting more frequently again, due to the fact that I am no longer walking around in a depressed and anxious haze.

~The Man in the Cave

Today (Poem)

Today she has no place, a woman with no face
who will just be here for a little while;
a grain of sand floating among thousands more
in a light gust of wind, propelling against my leg
and causing an irritation.
A festering spawned by the miniature jagged edges
of the tiny rocks bouncing off my skin, but nothing more.
And after the wind dies she will start all over again,
fitting in place with all others just like her.
Although she will deny it.